Ever wondered when to use “whom” or “who”? You’re not alone—many people struggle with this grammar question.
These two words sound similar but serve different roles in a sentence. Many learners search online to avoid mistakes in writing and speech.
Using the wrong word can make sentences confusing or sound unprofessional. Even small errors can affect clarity.
In this blog, we’ll simplify the rules. You’ll see clear examples and tips to use who and whom correctly.
By the end, you’ll write and speak with confidence.
Whom or Who – Quick Answer
- Who → Subject of a sentence or clause.
Example: Who is coming to the meeting? - Whom → Object of a verb or preposition.
Example: To whom should I address this letter?
Tip: If you can replace the word with he/she, use who. If you can replace it with him/her, use whom.
The Origin of Whom or Who
The words “who” and “whom” come from Old English:
- Who → hwa, used as the subject.
- Whom → hwām, originally the dative form, used as the object.
Over centuries, English simplified many grammar rules, but “whom” stayed in formal writing and legal texts. Its rare usage today causes the common confusion among writers and speakers alike.
British English vs American English Spelling
In both British and American English, “who” and “whom” are spelled the same. However, usage differs slightly:
| Feature | British English | American English |
|---|---|---|
| Who as subject | Common | Common |
| Whom as object | Formal, often replaced with who in informal writing | Formal, often replaced with who in informal writing |
| Everyday usage | Whom less common | Whom less common; who preferred in speech |
Observation: Both varieties prefer “who” in everyday writing, reserving “whom” for formal or legal contexts.
Which Spelling Should You Use?
- US audience: Use who in casual writing; whom in formal writing.
- UK/Commonwealth: Similar pattern; whom is more common in formal contexts.
- Global audience: Stick to who for casual communication; whom is optional unless writing professionally.
Common Mistakes with Whom or Who
- Incorrect: Whom is coming to the party?
Correct: Who is coming to the party? - Incorrect: Who did you give the book?
Correct: Whom did you give the book to? - Overusing whom in informal emails.
- Ignoring whom in formal letters.
Whom or Who in Everyday Examples
- Email: To whom it may concern…
- News article: Who won the award?
- Social media: Who’s going to the concert tonight?
- Formal writing: The candidate, whom we interviewed yesterday, is ideal for the role.
Whom or Who – Google Trends & Usage Data
Analysis of search data shows:
- “Who” is far more commonly searched and used than “whom.”
- Countries with formal English education (UK, US, Canada) still search for “whom” usage rules.”
- “Who vs whom” spikes around exam seasons and professional writing guides.
Comparison Table – Keyword Variations
| Keyword | Usage | Formality |
|---|---|---|
| Who | Subject | Informal & formal |
| Whom | Object | Mostly formal |
| Who vs Whom | Query for guidance | Formal/informal context |
FAQs
1. Can I use who instead of whom?
Yes, in informal speech and writing, who often replaces whom.
2. Is whom dying in modern English?
In casual writing, yes, but it’s still correct in formal contexts.
3. How do I remember who vs whom?
Use the he/she = who and him/her = whom trick.
4. Should I use whom in emails?
For formal emails: yes. For casual emails: who is fine.
5. Is whom necessary in UK English?
Not always; often replaced with who in everyday writing.
6. Can whom be used at the start of a sentence?
Yes, e.g., Whom should I call first?
7. Is who always correct?
Who is correct as the subject but wrong as the object.
Conclusion
Understanding “whom or who” is simpler than it seems. Who acts as a subject, while whom serves as an object.
In casual writing, who often replaces whom, but formal writing still requires whom in proper contexts. Remember the he/she = who, him/her = whom trick.
By mastering this distinction, your writing will sound more polished, professional, and grammatically correct.
Whether writing emails, social media posts, or essays, knowing when to use each word improves clarity and credibility.
Stick to who for everyday communication, and reserve whom for formal or professional scenarios.
Hi, I’m Jason Carter, the author behind GrammarNestly.com.
I’m a grammar expert with a passion for helping readers understand the English language in a simple and practical way.
I love breaking down confusing grammar rules and turning them into easy, everyday lessons that anyone can follow.
